I’ve learned today how powerful unconditional love really is. We had a terrible day Wednesday, and I found that it would be easier to just go out and drive around aimlessly rather that sit and home taking turns telling Buddy stories and crying. Neither of us have really slept or eaten in a couple days (on the plus side, I’m down 7 pounds)
The sign you see above started its like as a sign that was headed out to be placed as a “Lost Dog” sign. Since the bad news, I converted it to a sign in the yard that lets people know what happened. Its been very comforting the numbers of people that would arrive at our front door in tears to express their sorrow. Emails from all over the United States from people that had known Buddy from trips, and flowers placed at the sign added a very nice touch.
We drove around for an hour, and in desperation finally pulled into a Donatos to at least look at some food. At that point I had not eaten anything for over 24 hours, so I ordered a med pizza. I didn’t (for the most part) eat or drink anything during our dinner.
We both just collapsed at about 10pm in bed, as it had been a long day. I tried to sleep but was haunted by the visions of my trip to animal control to ID the remains before we picked them up. We were up at 6am, without purpose, so we sat in the movie room and talked (and cried) about all the fun things the dog would do, and how we would miss him as well as those things. I’ve had several long talks with people this am, family, friends, friends that are like family, and each gave their own kind words, and stories of how they loved the dog as well. Each has been through their own ordeals in life, and each concluded that things like this take time to fade.
I reflect back and the thousands of hours with Buddy. I’ve told story after story. I remember fondly our recent trip to Kentucky for many hundreds of miles I sat with Lori driving, with Buddy sitting in my lap. He was happiest when he could be with his people, as close as possible. He honestly loved to just be with people, Lori and I in particular, but he could befriend anyone. I will miss the excitement I saw when I would ask Puppy if he wanted to go for a ride. He didn’t care if it was around the block, or out of state. He loved to ride. Yesterday Puppy and I took our last car ride.
I used to have a talk with my dog every morning before I left for work. I would tell him that I have to go to work to make money to buy his cookies, that he should be a good puppy while we are gone and don’t bother Loki. “Be a good puppy” I would say. All the time he would make this face that would just pull at your heart, he would say “Please stay home and play with me, I love you. Please play with me more.”
With tears in my eyes I had that same conversation this am. I would give everything I have to stay home and play with Puppy today.